What the Hell
by MalikOfDarkness
Summary: Seto Kaiba is accidentally enrolled into Hogwarts and threatens to fire the person responsible. Mokuba gives him a diary to write his angry feelings, so as there's nothing better to do, Kaiba uses it at Hogwarts. CAUTION: A LOT OF SWEARING
1. Stupid Roland

Entry 1

Mokuba gave me this fucking diary to write my feelings in. He says it's a good for a boy like to relax a little and enjoy the usage of pen and paper instead of a computer. But I think the real reason why he gave me this journal is because he doesn't want the people at Hogwarts to hear me cuss or yell at them.

Which reminds me.

Hogwarts.

The reason why I'm going there is because fucking Roland enrolled me there when I clearly told him to enroll me at HARVARD! I was hoping the headmaster would not let me go to his stupid school, but he did.

Damn it.


	2. Those Poor Kids

Entry 2

I expected the people who own Hogwarts to be rich, but it seems that they aren't. The way I realized this?

I'm on a fucking train. A train. Why the hell do they not have airplanes? I'm so disgusted that swearing doesn't even help.

Anyway, I have my own compartment. There's no way I'm sitting with those poor kids.


	3. Robes

Entry 3

I'm in the Gryffindor House. What kind of name is that? It's like the stupid staff put random words together to make the names of the "Houses." Harvard would have never done that.

I share a room with three other guys. They were all interested in me since I seemed to be so different than them (thank God). I, on the other hand, didn't return the favor and kept to myself. I'm the only one not wearing those crappy robes. I mean, seriously, even the Rare Hunters had better robes. At least those were a decent color.


	4. Fake Ishizus and Yugis

Entry 4

I went to my stupid classes; the first of which was Charms. The teacher was even shorter than Yugi and I thought that was impossible, but I guess this teacher is the living proof that I was wrong. Anyway, he just talked about what we would learn during the year, so I didn't pay much attention to his boring speech.

After that, I went to Transfiguration. The lady there actually made us do something. We had to turn a match into a needle. Everyone took out a wand (some stupid stick) and I finally realized that this was a school of magic.

Great, just what I needed, I thought. A place filled with Ishizus and Yugis.

I didn't have a wand, not that I would want that crap, so I asked the teacher if I could call up my magician and fly him in. She said no, so I just walked out of the class. The teacher ran after me, so I threatened to sue her for stalking me, but she didn't care.

She looked like she pitied me, so I decided to use that to my advantage. I told her that I needed some time alone. She let me go and nodded as if she understood.

A typical Ishizu moment.

As if anyone could understand the genius president of Kaiba Corp. No one, not even these fake Ishizus and Yugis can understand me.


	5. Get a Goddamn Outlet!

I decided to skip classes today. I had History of Magic, which I would never take because there's not point in studying history when you can make history. I also had Herbology, but I don't need that as I have gardeners for a reason.

I tried calling Mokuba today and failed to accomplish that simple task. Reason? This damn place doesn't have reception. I decided to go on my laptop and email him instead. I also created this program that allows people to duel other people around the world online. You enter the numbers on the back of your deck and the program saves your deck. After that, you can duel whoever you want. I sent the program to Anderson (my newest employee, but his hell of a brain makes up for his lack of experience) to clean it up a bit and make it more worthy of the Kaiba Corp. label. I would do it myself, but my battery is running low and this place doesn't have a fucking outlet, so I can't charge my laptop.

Leave it to Hogwarts to screw up my life...


	6. Surviving On Crap

I know this is a bit too late to mention now, but whatever. Here is a list of items I brought with me to Hogwarts.

1. Laptop (can't live without it)

2. Duel Monsters Deck (you never know if you're going to run in to Rare Hunters or Yugi)

3. DuelDisk (no point playing Duel Monsters without freaking holograms)

4. Charger (can't use it now because this fucking school doesn't have outlets)

5. Phone (go kill the fucking old man who's headmaster because this craphole of a school doesn't have reception at all)

6. The Awesomeness that is Seto Kaiba (no comment needed)

7. And lastly, this stupid journal. (go die, Mokuba)


End file.
